Sunday, June 14, 2009
162nd Movement

Hey.

Yeah, feel like having a good emo-ing session now, but I still wonder why people want to be an emo, it definitely isn't cool...

And then, my daughter asked me the other day..."Daddy, are you suffering?"

What else could I say..."I'm not." And if it wasn't on MSN, I'd smile at her. The worst part is, I probably half-lied to her. Because, after all, I ain't EXACTLY suffering. Of course, every person wants a better life...but I'm kind of contented with what I have.

Looking at the rate my life is going...yes, I am contented. I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am...

I miss her, I just do.

Labels: emo shit thing

Tuesday, April 28, 2009
153rd Movement

I remember you used to sit opposite me and play the oboe
I remember those practices with our dual solo in "To Challenge the Skies and Heavens Above"
I remember you waiting for me at the same place with a lunchbox of food
I remember you always forcing me to eat everything you made for me
I remember you trying so hard to grow that little plant just outside the field for your Geography Project
I remember you smiling everytime I made a seriously cold and lame joke
I remember we used to just sit down and listen to music while we waited for the sun to set
I remember you always made me speak chinese when we met
I remember you'd always lay your head on my lap and ask me to sing you to sleep even though many others said I couldn't sing
I remember you'd put your ear on my chest and tell me how irregular my heartbeat was
I remember you'd wait for me to kiss you on the lips before telling you "good night"
I remember how your mum told me you'd wait by the phone at the time I always called
I remembered how you cried when your friend's mum pass away
I remember how excited you were when I asked you out for our first date
I remember how you used to laugh at my many funny experiences
I remember you blushed when I first held your hand
I remember you tried to kiss me on our first date and failed
I remember how you blushed even more when I tricked you into kissing my lips

Ah, but it's all over now.

Labels: emo shit thing

Saturday, April 04, 2009
147th Movement

Labels: emo shit thing

Saturday, March 07, 2009
138th Movement

Rachael is a good girl
She lets me touch her whenever I feel like it
And whenever I hold her, I get inspired
Rachael did not come cheap, and of course she played hard-to-get
But Rachael is a good girl
When bad times come, she is always there, silent, smiling and alluring
And unlike others, she is always always there

Never complaining
Never shouting or screaming
Always asking to spend time with passion

If only every girl was like Rachael
And if only Rachael wasn't just my saxophone

Labels: emo shit thing

Friday, March 06, 2009
137th Movement

Labels: emo shit thing

Friday, February 27, 2009
135th Movement

Today there was a Jammerz Arena meeting...and from the looks of it, I don't think I can stay in there anymore. A couple of reasons why:

1) They want to cater more to what the audience in RP wants, and seeing the majority of people in RP liking Rock, Punk and even Metal, there isn't much hope for Jazz now, is there?

2) They want to kick out the "weakest link", the miniority, and guess who's the only saxophone player in there?

These are the reasons, there are more though, I can't remember what they are...

Anyway, I see my self going solo now, perhaps I'm not meant to be in a band...there really is no place for a saxophonist in Singapore except Wind Symphony and Symphonic bands...

Labels: Anything and Everything on my life, emo shit thing

Wednesday, February 11, 2009
131st Movement

Labels: emo shit thing

Tuesday, February 03, 2009
128th Movement

Yesterday, at a table of four people, two girls and two guys, a new production team was formed.

The group called themselves "What's the Point! Productions", made up of four specific polytechnic students.

A weird name, I feel, but of course, a fun name as well. I'm the director for WTP Productions, and we all have our individual roles for the team.

I realised on Sunday that I was wrong about almost everything, I couldn't just think of one road to try to do what I love, I have to look for other avenues to see if what I love to do is my true talent.

On Sunday, I have realised that almost everything I thought I could do was not going to come true.

We all have to remember that this world is not build on fairness, yet we can always hope that there are a few kind souls out there who are praying for souls like us.

Labels: emo shit thing, WTPP

Thursday, January 29, 2009
127th Movement

My saxophone playing is improving bit by bit, and I'm having another one-on-one session with Master Chia this coming Tuesday...

Now it's time to rethink about what I really want in life, last year I had thought of doing freelance scriptwriting and selling my works to different companies, get enough cash and eventually cough up a good movie or two in a span of ten years.

But now, I really want a family, and that family isn't going to be able to survive if I do not have a basic job that keeps a stable income. Whatever I want just contradicts with whatever I need.

And then, to add on to my troubles, there's FYP and the occasional "stab-in-the-face" and other stuff that pull you down. I'm working on them one by one and slowly but surely I'm getting across them. Nothing in life is impossible, especially when you have two lovely god-daughters as your source of motivation.

Sometimes I look up into the sky, and hope for a chance to do something worthwhile, because from what I see here in my life, nothing is making my life more meaningful, not even Church. Perhaps it's my fault for not being able enough to undertake certain things, or it could be that God has chosen me to play the backstage all my life, if that is so, I won't give a complaint or two.

Alright, enough of my ranting, hopefully these few days would prove happier for me.

Labels: Anything and Everything on my life, emo shit thing

Sunday, January 18, 2009
123rd Movement

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really destined to be alone all my life...

Emo shit

Labels: emo shit thing

Wednesday, January 14, 2009
122nd Movement

OKA~~Y

So my recent "Random Tunes" have been all things sad, but it's the truth, isn't it?

Let me justify myself =P

When we've all reached what we have worked hard for, how is it we can find something else that is able to replace it? Love? How do we live for love alone? Humans are inclined in such a way that we need excitement in our lives, otherwise it will be nothing but a monotonus melody in the bars of life.

Our dreams are fragile, and most of our dreams always end off with a bang, a huge bang. In some cases it's a violent, negative impact. And whether or not our dreams do come true, who will remember them when our generation is long past?

And er...about the one before this, just ignore it unless reading between the lines is your hobby (which I don't think most people will do).

It's just how life is, isn't it?

Labels: emo shit thing

Random tune

Labels: emo shit thing, Random Tune

Thursday, January 08, 2009
119th Movement

Labels: emo shit thing

Monday, December 15, 2008
113th Movement

Everything went awfully crap today.

The process was good, but the result was unexpected.

I left her house with a knife wound, and when I was downstairs, a girl dropped her white ball and it rolled towards me.

When I passed it back to her, it felt like time froze, and in that instant, I felt like I was giving away something I had known all my life.

Perhaps it is a sign...or maybe I'm just paranoid.

And Joel...I'm serious about Black Dragon Fire Thunderbolt...I want to prove something through this band...

Nightwish...Nightwish...Nightwish...

Labels: emo shit thing

Sunday, November 30, 2008
107th Movement

Today is the last day of registration for the Children's Drama Workshop 2008...thank goodness...and the November's monthly skit is over, and today Geraldine asked me why I wasn't involved. "School", I said, "lots of poly work to do, couldn't come down for rehearsals". Then she asked why I left so early that day (because I left immediately after I packed the things up), "Still had poly work to do" I said.

But of course, I have to commit to the next monthly skit now, but unfortunately I'll be gone from the 16th to the 23rd, going to Korea, forgot to tell her but I'll try to commit time for the monthly skit.

Sometimes wondering whether leaving TOG is a good idea can lead to a lot of wild thoughts, a huge temptation. Because after all...they seem to handle themselves quite okay. =/

Labels: Anything and Everything on my life, emo shit thing

Sunday, November 02, 2008
95th Movement

2nd November 2008.

17th Birthday of the Theatre of Gifts.

It's really amazing how it got this far, how TOG actually managed to crawl through shit holes and got dirt thrown in its face and yet still survive until today. We should be expecting more dirt in our lives but TOG would most probably make it through. =]

But for now, TOG is crumpling.

There is no discipline, there is no right attitude for the right time. God has been thrown out of the window and the people are following their own ideals.

No one can save TOG now, not even Kevin and Geraldine. TOG, sooner or later, will be torn apart and cease to exist.

And what Kevin and Geraldine painstakingly built will be all but a photo album on a blog or on a friendster page.

But we must always do what is right, because it is right.

Labels: emo shit thing

Thursday, October 02, 2008
78th Movement

Labels: emo shit thing

Thursday, September 18, 2008
245th Post, 70th Movement

The 245th post, not something to be proud of. Don't ask me why.

Now I don't even know to whom this blog belongs to, I may be Justin when I'm typing this but I don't really know what or who is writing or thinking this now. Weird as it seems, I know something or someone is watching or using me.

This body is a puppet, and the minds are fighting for the wooden pegs that move it.

Labels: emo shit thing

Tuesday, September 02, 2008
53rd Movement

There is always a point in one's life when you are the most important person in your loved one's life.

Then *bang*, right out of the blue, something happens to you. And you'd realise that you became insignificant in her life, and nothing matters anymore. All your contributions in her life, all the love you showered her with, all the high hopes you put into her, all dissipates into thin air.

After all, the higher you climb, the harder you'll fall, won't you?

Labels: emo shit thing

Sunday, August 17, 2008
42nd Movement

Ever felt before when you thought you had moved on, but could not after a single glance at your horrified object?





Yes, you guessed it, I went through it, and I'm sure some of you went through it too...

Essence of the night, purges the light of day

Labels: emo shit thing