Friday, June 19, 2009
163rd Movement

Helplessness

Indeed, all of us has felt that emotion at a certain point in our life.

And it sucks.

That was how I felt when I just heard everything from everyone, it was as if the world decided that I was to be Atlas, and bear the weight of the world on my shoulders.

But there is a difference of course, Atlas bore the world's weight because he had to, I am bearing the weight because I want to.

I used to question myself about my life, whether or not it would help if I did something small. I wanted to change the world, make sure it was a different place from what it was. But I couldn't, I was, and am, just a single man.

And just in a few days, God made sure He put me where I was supposed to be, a place of helplessness. A place where I could really feel the tension of pain and the intensity of hurt, for the past four days I have just heard from two people precious to me and my heart is torn.

Just how much does this have to go on?

God made man, and man reject God and His works, so why did God make man?

Was it a "they're going to hate me, but I'm going to love them anyway."

And then I remembered what a bunch of random people who came up to me a long time ago, they were evangelists, and they got me when I was folding flowers for my ex-girlfriend.

They said, "God's love is just like yours, your girlfriend left you, yet you are trying to get her back. It takes a lot of dignity to do that."

I had to agree.

But whatever His reason was, man is helpless against His will.

And we are all just instruments for a greater design, but some of us get hurt and torn along the way.

It's a fairly...sickening feeling.

But you just have to accept it, because after all, God is a being you wouldn't want to mess around with.

Helplessness, the only words that would come after it are "I'm sorry."

Labels: Inspiration?