Monday, December 31, 2007
Just a note...
Just a note...(WOW! my 70th post!)I'll be changing the URL of my blog to decepticon-diary.blogspot.com after the 5th of January.
Time: 2235 hrs - Venue: HQ
In just one and a half hours time, the end of 2007 would be here, and the start of 2008 will be here.But yet, isn't everyday the end of the time? No longer will we see 3rd March 2007, or even 15th July 2010 in the future.
All these months I kept seeing the BAD in everything, and not the GOOD. I always drowned myself in sorrow and always made myself into a walking discouraging young piece of thrash. But now I HAVE a few new year resolutions. =]
1) To look on the bright side of things now
2) To be the best goalkeeper my friends will ever know
3) To learn better styles of rapping
4) To TRY and get a girlfriend
5) To get more sleep
6) To be more open in life
7) To be more prayerful
8) To try to be there for my friends anytime
I need help with all these of course!
I won't be going to Beverley's house as invited later on. I'll spend this time with my family. =]
Once again, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Time: 1117 hrs - Venue: HQ
Start entry \-Changed my blogskin already. Does it feel colder? Lol...
I'm going to watch I Am Legend later. Then maybe after that play another round of soccer at NYP. =] I hope I don't get a balanced injury on my face.
Tomorrow is the end of the year, the dawn of a new age, a new age of life...
And yet, how many people on earth can say that the past year's troubles and humiliations go with the year?
End entry -/
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Time: 1702 hrs - Venue: HQ
Damage Assessment \-Scratch on left side of eye, quite long
Scratch on the bottom of left eye, quite bad
Assessment complete -/
The most amazing thing is, when the ball rammed my face, the spectacles flew and there wasn't even a scratch on it.
Went to watch Berverley's dance concert yesterday. Very good concert, just tiring. 'Coz I was already quite tired. But some of the dance performances woke me up for a while, like caffeine, haha.
I just woke up from a nap, still quite tired. Lol...
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
-Fix You, Coldplay
Can it be worse?
Friday, December 28, 2007
Time: 1928 hrs - Venue: HQ
Very tired now, I went to play DOTA with Haziq again. This time, I won the game, but not in a thrashing kind of style. Only one hero kill was made throughout the whole time, I got first blood using DK again. =]I'm not sure if the TOG guys are playing soccer tomorrow, I'll have to go check with them later. Maybe wear the new jersey they Jared and Joel bought me. #1 printed on the back...lol
Tomorrow is also Beverley's dance performance, so either have soccer or no soccer, but more probably that there won't be any soccer tomorrow. 'Cause of all the perspiration and all that.
I have to exercise now, have to keep fit in time for army. =] 2 years left and they asked me to register already, better go do it later.
Going off to play some more games, blog later, or maybe tomorrow. Ta-ta
Time: 1212 hrs - Venue: HQ
Jill left for Seattle a few days back, Wednesday, was it? She went there for a studies. I'm not sure about whether she was on scholarship or not. But what I'm sure of is that she won't be back for a long time.I hope I'll be playing soccer tomorrow...got my new jersey and all hyped up for a match!
But before I get physical with the ball, I'd get virtually physical in WWE first.
And the tortoises in my house are making weird noises now, will check on them later.
And I'm sure the two games I bought are guy's games...
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Time: 2147 hrs - Venue: HQ
I thought I posted today...lolToday...has been a good day...so far...
Went to eat McDonalds for lunch, bought two new games, they had it on offer. Both Xbox 360 games: WWE: Raw vs Smackdown and Project Gotham Racing.
Project Gotham Racing seemed more realistic than the Need For Speed: Most Wanted. The drifts are harder to do and the knocks are much harder to control. There is a VERY HUGE difference between Class A cars and Class B cars. The easy mode of the races are (I estimated) to be like the NFS:MW medium. They have a range of difficulty levels: Novice, Easy, Medium (I think), Hard and Expert (I think). Different awards and Credits are given to each difficulty level. Throghout the race and your Career, you are able to collect something called "Kudos". It actually increases your rank in the game. Some races involve these Kudos, like the Cone Gate Race and the Time vs Kudos race. Overall, it is a game worth buying but you must have patience for it. Took me quite a while to master the controls.
WWE: Raw vs Smackdown is a good game so far, thought there are still a few bugs in it. There are alot more innovative maneuvers in there, like the reversals of Finishers and Grapple moves. There are also new kinds of matches availible in this game. Like the Buried Alive match and the Backstage Brawl match. There are more superstars to unlock and also a more innovative Career Mode that has three versions: Wrestler, General Manager and one more I haven't tried out yet, the Pay Per View version. The only thing that I do not like about it is that during a tag-team match, the opposing team is allowed to interfere everytime while you can only go in, deliver a grapple move and then the AI automatically brings you out of the ring. There is no DQ for any of this fouls.
Other than the two games, I did not get anything else.
Just played DOTA with Haziq, got thrashed.
Still thinking about Christmas. Man, do I suck.
Merry Christmas, God bless you guys.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Time: 1639 hrs - Venue: HQ
Went for the midnight mass this morning...very tiring. After that stayed overnight at Geraldine Paul's house for the entire night. Before going home, taking a rest and making a wasted trip back to church to see her.I gave her the flowers and the ring, I wished her a Merry Christmas, I told her I LOVE HER.
But she wasn't moved.
I told her I'd be waiting for her at the adoration room for her answer, I waited there for at least 2 hours...
I waited
I waited
I waited
I waited
And there was no answer...
I stand by my earlier assessment:
I folded the flowers for nothing
Monday, December 24, 2007
Time: 1719 hrs - Venue: HQ
Ok...even if she isn't going for the midnight mass, I have other plans up my sleeve, but of course, plans DO backfire.I finished the flowers, though not the 11 that I originally planned, there was only enough for 10, so I made it. Going to bring tonight, then wait till next morning 11.30am. I'm not going to meet her face-to-face but I'll leave it at her seat with the ring when she goes for holy communion.
I'm smart, but plans DO backfire, like I said.
Going to rest now, good thing I didn't go for soccer just now. =]
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Time: 2112 hrs - Venue: HQ
Forget it, she isn't going for the midnight mass...and it seems she doesn't want me to go with her to the 11.30am mass too.I folded those flowers for nothing.
Time: 1952 hrs - Venue: HQ
I was folding paper flowers just now, just for her. I'm gonna make 11, originally I wanted to make 8, since her birthday add up to that number. The I thought 17, since that was her age next year. Or even 23, since that was my favorite number, but then it is about HER, not ME.I picked 11 'coz it meant "You are the one I love most in my life". But she doesn't even like me at all (I think). So I'm planning to just say "I love you", give her the ring, another "Merry Christmas" and then leave. That is, if I see her at Midnight mass on the 24th.
I wish I do...or I'll be a goner. =]
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Time: 2302 hrs - Venue: HQ
I saw her todayI saw her just now
She was beside me
Yet I made no sound
Why?
I fell in love
I fell literally
But yet who can say what lies ahead?
When love is involved
I tried my best
Did I even try?
I did what I could
Did you?
Voices in my head
Saying one after another
Waiting, just waiting for a chance to speak
And yet now I see
But do you really see?
When I speak, who listens?
When I listen, who speaks?
Am I alone?
Am I someone else?
I now know it doesn't matter
If I have a nice set of wheels
Or a Swiss bank account
As long God forbids
I am powerless
As long as this ring of mine stays on my neck
I am no man
For if no courage is given to give the ring
What is a man without courage?
I try to impress
I try to shut up
I try many ways to think of how to attract her attention
Yet she does not see
And my friends do not know
Am I trying too hard?
Am I locking myself up?
AGAIN?
Silence, I say
Voices still speak
Voices that are mine
And no one elses'
We are here, boy, we reside in you
You cannot chase us out
We will live with you
We will feed with you
We will feel as you feel
And think as you think
But try as you may
We live with you
Perhaps it's better this way
I'm better off with my old friend
Who? You ask
No person, no man, no entity, I answer
A good old friend called Loneliness
Friday, December 21, 2007
Time: 2300 hrs - Venue: HQ
Haha...went to confession just now, was very tired. Everytime I go for confession I feel like crying, thinking about what I did and what I did not do.I thought I'd see her there, but no, I did not. Should I be happy or sad?
Do I even like her? Do I even feel for her? Why am I making such a big fuss about it? Should I go for it? Should I let her go into the arms of my friend or mine?
Questions, questions, questions...all will be answered in due time, I supposed.
I'm going off to bed now, and try to think of how to do my penance.
Time: 1643 hrs - Venue: HQ
I miss her more than ever, but her at one church and me at the other, being far apart and knowing she doesn't like you at all makes you feel like ramming into a bar.Literally.
Going for confession tonight. I will see her but I'll try to just look at her only. Oh God, I feel like crying right now.
God knows why He invented crying. This world should be a world of love and happiness, not pain and regrets.
Brings to mind on what Geraldine Paul said about having "two lives". Jovial on the real world and emo-istic on the blog. But I really don't know how to express my self in speech anymore, and no one I can turn to, except God of course, He sees everything after all.
Not everyone knows how I feel, no, NOBODY knows how and what I feel. Only I know...only I know how to get through this. I know I can...
At least, I THINK I can...
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Time: 2126 hrs - Venue: HQ
I just got my new G9 Logitech mouse... It's one freaking good mouse even if I may say so myself!My brother got a new Xbox 360 game: Ghost Recon Advanced Warfare 2. Haven't tried it yet, but I heard from my brother who played it just now that it was a little like COD 4, and that some new stuff were added.
Played soccer just now...did some good saves and some ridiculous ones. I realized I play better on a wet surface...but on a dry one, then it's GG for me... =P
I got a new phone too. Nokia one, which finally has a bluetooth and a 2 megapixel camera...I forgot what model it's called but oyu can be assured that it isn't one of those latest ones...haha...(obviously, since the camera is only TWO megapixels!). I finished transferring the memory from the old phone to the next, and guys, the 81639117 number is no longer in use, so please do not contact me through that number, if oyu do, you are a complete IDIOT!
There will be sort of a gathering for TOG this Saturday, I'll be going after the AGM...tiring day huh...
Possible that tomorrow going to play soccer again...double kill if that's the case...
I'd just rest now and wait for tomorrow to come... =]
Annnddd let me riddle you guys into an important event I had on Tuesday:
One day, a man walks into a bar
Ouch
That man was me
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Time: 1444 hrs - Venue: HQ
Watching "The Mummy" on HBO now. Not that THAT matters anyway.Came back from camp yesterday, boy was it great. The electives were quite good, learnt a lot more stuff. Like lighting planning and design, playwrighting and writing a script and also cameras. Though not so much on the camera part.
Made some more friends also in Parables. Nice people like Enid, Annabel, Dora, Josh, Dot and others...Although at times the night was very cold and the day super hot.
The performance night was good, though I must say I played not up to standard kind of thing. Could have done better, I always say, though some of the Parables and the TOG members came over and said it was a tough piece I played and that I did well. Confuses me to whether I should care more about the opinions of others or myself. But someone's opinion struck me the most and was probably the most important, since it came from her.
I won't say her, and I hope you guys won't know anyway.
Playing soccer on Thursday...so tomorrow can rest. Going for confession at Novena tonight aaaaaaaannnnndddd fetching my mum and sister from the airport tonight also.
So that's all for now...blog again some other time
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Time: 1546 hrs - Venue: HQ
Tomorrow is the camp day, I won't be online and all that for a while. Anything can still SMS me, but I won't guarantee a quick reply.I'll be bringing Rachel along, and the pieces I'm going to play are:
You Raise Me Up
Iris
Guan Huai Fang Shi
I've been trying to practice for a few days now, and I'll have to play them tomorrow for Julian to hear. Probably not to offend anyone with my lousy sound...alamak.
Today's maths lesson wasn't that nice, didn't understand anything at all. And updating on that DOTA match, I'm not sure if I'm gonna play, I'll have to see about Monday. =(
That's all for now, other than the fact that I wanna cry.
Time: 0814 hrs - Venue: W15L
I just feel like crying
Monday, December 10, 2007
Time: 2036 hrs - Venue: HQ
I wandered through fiction to look for the truth
Buried beneath all the lies
And I stood at the distance
To feel who you are
Hiding myself from your eyes
-Goo Goo Dolls, Before It's Too Late
Haha, how true.
It's a funny thing, how you make a decision, implement it then regret it afterwards.
Your whole life you try to make yourself look worthy, look good in other people's eyes. Trying so hard to get respect, acceptance and love. But yet never notice how close you are to it.
You lose sight, you lose focus, you lose yourself.
And yet, you still try so hard to prove that you're something.
It's weird, how the concept of life brings about the misconception of love.
And here I am, sitting down and just knowing, knowing that I lost, that yet I am still trying to fight for a land so precious, that is not within my reach, that I already know will lose.
Amazing thing, philosophy, metaphors.
How things work out, then rot itself, then work itself out again.
I keep telling myself it's going to be fine, like what I tell my god-sisters how to get through life. Haha.
Just got a message from Julian, got to perfect my music by tomorrow it seems.
Wish me all the best, not that it seems like it'll work.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Time: 1439 hrs - Venue: HQ
No mood to blog these days, been drowning in the sea lately.Haha, just kidding, I mean...not literally, at least.
Funny how life turns out. But sometimes you just got to admit it's this way, ya?
First you get the gut feeling she's going to be there, then when that one whole hour passes, she just doesn't appear. On your way back home you get a message from your friend saying he just saw her.
Things are like, wtf.
But of course, I shouldn't give up now, should I? 4 years waiting for this girl is no mean feat. Gotta keep persevering on and keep me feet down to earth.
But I still cannot deny the fact that there are about 150 guys out there who wants to be with her also and maybe half of that number see her at least 3 times a week.
Compared to a nerd who doesn't have enough money to buy peanuts and always has a 90% chance of not seeing her every Sunday, which is the only chance he'll get to see her.
Whoopee doo...
Oh well, just got to hang on tight eh? Wait for the right moment, they always say.
I say there is no right moment. There are only the wrong moments.
Pessimist, I know. But feels that way.
Seems like the whole world is turning its back on you sometimes.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Time: 2111 hrs - Venue: HQ
Very tired now, got hyped up by playing Call of Duty 4...WAHAHAHA. Here's my review of it:
Graphcs are super excellent. Though sometimes the fingers still look a little fake, especially when it holds something with its fingers (e.g cigarette).
The fight scenes are superb. Every bit of the graphical fighting is near perfect.
A lot of scenes are very drama, there are some parts where the world actually slows down, and you are just lying there watching the world go by (this is only a certain part, the last part gives you something additional to do).
The weapons are more sophisticated now. There is only ONE stage where you use smoke grenades, the rest are flashbangs that give off a very irritating sound once activated. Other cool weapons include:
Claymore
C4
AK47
Night Vision Goggles
MP5SD SMGs
M4A1 Grenadier
And the best part of all is that unlike COD 2 (which I played before this, so I skipped 3), the objectives aren't mostly just killing and slaughtering, but there's stuff like rescuing, surviving and sniping down a helicopter (yes, it's possible).
I won't reveal anymore of the game or Infinity Ward and Activision would sue me, so I'm leaving it as it is and the decision is up to you to either buy or don't buy. =]
I'll leave you with a picture from the ending titles of the game, enjoy! It may be little blur due to the enlargement.
And other than the new game I got, I'm also now in W15L's DOTA team. But the competition for DOTA is either on the 17th or the 18th of this month, so if it falls on the 17th I won't be able to make it since the Combined Camp is going on. But if it's on the 18th than maybe huh...
I gotta start training now for the competition (if I'm going!)...my friends are all very hardcore gamers now for this time.
And other than that, I decided not to bring Rachel to the camp, kinda stupid but sometimes things don't go your way, does it? =]
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Madman sighted!
A madman has been sighted and you guys might wanna know who he is. No matter what happens, do not, repeat: DO NOT make contact.
A photo has been acquired:
Be extra careful, the person who finds him alive will be rewarded. He is a highly dangerous man who escaped from IMH just a few days ago. He was seen on the run at RP on Friday. Any other leads will be appreciated.
=P
Time: 0751 hrs - Venue: W15L
Damage assessment -/Scraped left knee
Possible scraped hip
Multiple injuries on arms
Possible malfunction on the left sector of the circutrial cerebro
Damage assessment done \-
Okay...now that we've got it up and running, my body should heal with time.
I played soccer yesterday with Faiz and wow, was he good. Him and his ballroom dancing techniques. To put it in another way, he danced from one end of the court to another. Amazingly, no one seem to stop him fast enough. I'd give him a 9/10 for handling but a 4/10 for finishing. (Whoops)
I borrowed another 5 comics from the library, seems interesting read though. Two on Batgirl, two on the Avengers and the last one has Wolverine's face all over it. Couldn't find any of the Iron Man ones, pity it had to be that way.
I was thinking a lot for the past few hours ever since I read the Avengers: Thor last night. Set me thinking. I'll probably try to tell you guys in detail someday. But if you DO want to know, then I'll just say:
Not all heroes end happily ever after
Not to spoil the good mood, but that's a fact and the next fact is that I'm gonna have a UT soon. And the worst part of it is that it's Conputing, or Maths, I don't give a hoot about it (So now you guys know why I am in RP).
FOr those of you considering RP as a choice, go ahead. If you are the kind who likes a fixed timing but having fun all day it's the right place to be. But don't slack in here eh!
Did I ever tell you that when a certain person comes and tags you on your blog, you feel so much more important and proud of that person? =]
Monday, December 03, 2007
Time: 0750 hrs - Venue: W15L
Woke up to a very baaaaad start. Tonight there's soccer and my right foot is sleeping now.Not much to talk about, 'cept that I'll perform for the formal dinner if my sister can find the score by today. Or maybe just replace it with something else. Just a week more anyway...haha
So if I'm performing, it means I'm bringing Rachel with me to the camp. So to prevent damage, I promised my mum to open it only when I need it. LOL. Better safe than never.
Listening to Linkin Park now, and I bet you're wondering why so early listen to them...well, for a guy who can play Call of Duty 2 in the morning for like, 5 weeks straight, why not? =]
I'll blog again later, nothing much to talk about, really.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Time: 1614 hrs - Venue: HQ
Only a single word could describe the feeling of this morning's Mass and Carnival.
Beautiful
The literal meaning of the word walked past the Chapel pews and sat down by the side of her parents.
Beautiful
It's weird, how you try to describe something but can't...you got it in your head but all your years of learning "cheem" vocabulary just erases itself and all your mind is just focused on one single thing.
But I was sitting at the corner of whole chapel...looking at her walk. It was just like watching a movie. Like watching something you thought would never had happened in front of your eyes.
But in that moment, other feelings came in:
Disappointment
Rejection
Sadness
And above all else:
Love
So I sat, watching and thinking. I didn't sit next to her, I just sat at where I was. Then I prayed to God silently, just a few words that Jesus said while kneeling.
Thy Will be done
And as for the carnival today, it was rather tiring. Only a few people came to our Finger Soccer Booth. I probably bullied a few kids and got thrashed by some. LOL
And also Beverley, Joel and Samantha got dunked...lololololol...I almost got dunked...hahaha
And by the way, there's a play coming up...by TOG's "father" group, Walk On Water Productions.
Very interesting play, for those who do not know well about the Parables of Jesus, go and watch... =]
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Tim: 2056hrs - Venue: HQ
Just came back from a tiring day...Went to the "Crazy Catholics" Conference...We had like 3 Praise and Worship sessions and a few workshops...The one I liked was the -Rewriting the Bible- workshop. And pleasssssssse don't get the wrong idea, it's not writing a new book or whatever...it's just rephrasing the passage into modern context so that it would be easier to apply it to our lives. But we focused on the Psalms and the Parables only. Since one is worshipping God and the other learning lessons. Interesting...
And also tomorrow I have to participate in the Finger Soccer Booth at my Church's Feast Day Carnival. So if you're, like, reading this on the Saturday night that I wrote it, do come down and take a look. I'll be there for the whole thing.
And I still have to prepare for the Combined Camp thats like, next next week...And I'm still undecided if I wanna perform for the formal dinner during the camp. I'd like your opinions on this, whoever you are...=P
And in other issues...I got a photo from my god-daughters...hahaha. You guys can see it from my friendster profile, but to save you the hassle...
Me and my girls...so proud of them...=] Just like a real dad.
And in other news...if you are not Dorinda from W15L, then stop here.
Dorinda,
Just wanted to say sorry for Friday, I really wasn't in the mood, so so sorry. I promise to make it up in Enterprise kkkk? =]