Thursday, April 23, 2009
Laugh out LOUD
Video of the day: Creature Comforts (actual audio with fake faces, see if you can guess the candidates!)Text jokes:
1) Atoms have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic
2) Three convicts escaped a prison, and desperate with nowhere to go, they hid in a barn while the policeman chased them. One hid in a covered barrel, the other in a sack and the last guy in a stack of hay. The policeman walked into the barn, and noticing the barrel, tapped it. The convict promptly replied "meow meow", the policeman walked off to the stack of hay. He poked at the hay, and the convict responded, "woof woof", the policemanwalked off to the sack. He hit the sack and the convict, noticing what the others had done, replied, "potatoes potatoes".
3) A blonde walks over to a store, points at a product and says, "I want to buy that TV." The salesman replied, "sorry, we don't sell to blondes." The blonde becomes angry and goes off to dye her hair red, returns, points and repeats, "I want to buy that TV." With that the salesman says again, "sorry, we don't sell to blondes." The blonde, frustrated, goes for a complete makeover, so strong that her mother doesn't even recognize her, returns, points and says, "I want to buy that TV!" The salesman, frustrated, "WE DON'T SELL TO BLONDES!" The blonde gets frustrated, "I've went through so much, yet you still can see through my disguise! What did I do wrong?" The salesman sighs, "because, if you really wanted to buy a TV you wouldn't be pointing to that microwave."
Labels: LOL
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Laugh out LOUD
Text jokes:
1) A neutron walks into a bar and asks "How much for a drink?" The bartender calmly replies, "for you? No charge."
2) Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
3) One day, three men find a magical lamp. They rub it, and a genie appears. The genie grants them one wish each, with that the first man says, "I want to be three times as smart!" The wish is granted, and he starts mentioning the Theory of Relativity flawlessly. The second man, impressed at it, says, "Twenty times as smart for me!" The wish is granted and he can flawlessly recite the bible not only forward but backwards as well. The third man smiles, "A hundred...no, a THOUSAND times as smart!" The genie sighs at his request, and *poof*, he turns into a woman!
Labels: LOL
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Laugh out LOUD
Image of the week (rated 16 for language):
Labels: LOL
Friday, February 06, 2009
Laugh out LOUD
Picture of the week: (Jeff Larson)
More at www.thebackpew.com
Text jokes:
1) A mother had three son-in-laws, and one day she decided to test their filial piety to her. She took the first son-in-law and walked him to a bridge. At the bridge, she deliberately fell off into the river and screamed for her son-in-law to save her, the son-in-law jumped in and saved her. The next day, he found a Toyota Wish outside his garage, with a note that said "thanks, son. Now I can count on you when I'm in trouble". She took the second son-in-law and did the same thing, and thus rewarded him with a Toyota Wish. She took the third son-in-law and attempted the same test, but the son-in-law refused to save her and thus she drowned to death. The next day, he found a Ferrari outside his house, with a note that said "thanks, son. Love, Dad".
2) Three priests were on a boat out fishing, soon one of them ran out of bait, so he prayed for a long while and after that walked on the water to retrieve the bait and back to the boat. Soon the second priest too, ran out of bait, he prayed twice as long and after that, walked on the water to retrieve some bait and back to the boat. The third priest soon as well, ran out of bait, and seeing what the two priests had done, he prayed thrice as long and hard and stepped onto the water, but fell in and was rescued by the other two priests. When they got back ashore, the first priest said to the other, "maybe for the sake of brotherhood, we should have told him where the stepping stones were."
Text riddles:
1) *Lame-ness rate 5/10* What did the salt say to the pepper?
2) *Chinese joke* Which animal is the most cunning?
3) *Racist rate 3/10* How do you confuse a Malay?
Labels: LOL
Monday, January 19, 2009
Laugh out LOUD
Video of the week:Old joke...
Text jokes:
1) A hypnotist bets with a shark-feeder who just got out of a tank with a shark, "I bet $50 that I can hypnotise that shark." The shark feeder shrugged, "I'll bet you $100 you can't." So the hypnotist put on his diving gear, went in and started his hypnotism. A while later, the shark attacked him, and the medics got him out to safety. The shark-feeder asked, "what happened?" The hypnotist replied, "well, you owe me $100 now 'cause the shark thinks its an alligator."
2) There're three facts in life. One: you can roll your tongue all the way to your throat. Two: some idiots are going to try Fact One. Three: Fact One is false.
3) A Japanese asked an American, "why did you guys win WW2?" The American said, "we prayed to God, and He gave us victory." The Japanese asked, "but we prayed to God as well, why didn't we win?" The American laughed, "what makes you think God understands Japanese?"
Text riddles (considered easy):
1) What is the longest word in the dictionary?
2) What do you call a man who listens to the radio everyday?
3) Which music artist melts in your mouth but not in your hand?
Labels: LOL
Friday, January 09, 2009
Laugh out LOUD
Picture of the week: (Deviant =Nocturnal-Devil)
Labels: LOL
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Laught out LOUD
Welcome to the first edition of LAUGH OUT LOUD!!! Here I'll post jokes, both the good and the lame, and YOU get to post some jokes too! Under the COMMENTS section, that is, so that it stays there FOREVER (although I'm sure not everyone is going to listen to this instruction). 
That's all for LOL this week, stay tune NEXT week when we have more lame and good jokes up this blog's sleeve! =D
Labels: LOL