Friday, May 09, 2008
Day 130 Year 2008
Start entry \-From the excerpts of the journal of Amadeus Arkham.
**
Shocked by my "ill health", some friends take me to the opera--Wagner's Parsifal.
Don't they understand?
Can't they see I'm breaking into a thousand places?
Time
Time becomes
Strange
Forty minutes have passed since I ingested three portions of the Amanita mushroom.
So far, no effect.
Abruptly. I become convinced that the house is alive and trying to communicate with me.
A pressure at the back of my head makes me turn.
In their tiny, contained universe, two vast and shimmering clown fish glide toward one another.
And make the sign of Pisces.
Pisces! The astrological attribution of the moon card in the tarot pack!
The symbol of trial and initiation. Death and rebirth.
I have been shown the path.
I must follow where it leads.
Like Parsifal, I must confront the unreason that threatens me.
I must go alone into the Dark Tower.
Without a backward glance.
And face the Dragon within.
I have only one fear.
What if I am not strong enough to defeat it?
What then?
The drug takes hold, I feel small and afraid.
Perhaps I've done the wrong thing.
Somewhere, not far away, the Dragon hauls its terrible weight through the corridors of the asylum.
I am borne up on a wave of perfect terror.
And the world explodes.
There is nothing to hold on to.
No anchor.
Panic-stricken, I flee.
I run blindly through the madhouse.
And I cannot even pray.
For I have no God.
**
End entry -/
Justin A.Faith on 5/09/2008 05:44:00 PM
